Something kind of big just happened at my house. My baby said goodbye to the crib and embraced his brand new, big boy, “I’m two years old” room. I think this event is best summed up, “One small step for Nate, one giant step for Nate’s mom.”
Also, this week I heard a message about subconscious patterns, and the way we live out patterns that we don’t even recognize, until we stop to be more self aware, or we courageously ask someone we love to help us know our blind spots. Through the upgrade in Nate’s room, I had a window into one of my subconscious patterns, which I now call “phone a friend.”
You see, when life gets difficult, I have a tendency to phone a friend. Maybe you can relate. In and of itself, this isn’t a bad pattern. Reaching out for support in difficult times makes a lot of sense. The problem with my pattern is that I often phone a friend before I talk with God about the issue. Hard to admit, but I have realized that is my subconscious pattern.
Now that I see the pattern, I’ve even been able to identify why I do this. It’s the instant gratification of an empathetic listener who responds with words I really hear. Out loud. I don’t even have to work at listening; audible words of comfort are spoken when I phone a friend.
So, yesterday morning, it was time to start painting, and I was feeling a little sad. My baby is growing up, and no more babies are coming to fill this crib. I am packing up the nursery, and saying goodbye to a special season of life, the season of sweet little babies.
As I instinctively reached for the phone, I felt a tug to stop and talk, instead, to God. As I prayed, engaging my heavenly Father in this dialogue, I was reminded of the joy of a healthy, growing boy, and the way God’s blessing in my life continues to grow right before my eyes. I also realized my subconscious phone a friend pattern, and the need for change. Why was it different this time? Why was I more attentive to the still, small voice in my soul?
I think it all comes down to two words: Sabbath keeping. Slowing my pace each week in a purposeful way has allowed me to be more in tune with God’s voice. One more reason to keep the Sabbath – I am learning to talk more with God.